Consequences

7-7-15

From a very young age we are all taught the difference between right and wrong. We are also shown, some more than others, what the outcome is of our decisions to act poorly.  These outcomes are the consequences of our actions and vary from situation to situation. If you get caught eating a cookie out of the jar after told not to you may have been placed in time out. For sneaking out of your parents house in High School you might have been grounded for a week. Or the actions and subsequent could be much more serious. For me, it was the outcomes of being arrested for driving while intoxicated that showed me how harsh consequences can really be. I received two DWI's in the span of a year after I turned twenty one. I was managing an Irish Pub and would regularly (or every night) drink my fill of Guinness and Jamison and then go on my way. Of course, at this point of my life I was a young kid with not a lot to loose. I had already dropped out of school a few times, much to the surprise of everyone around me. I was hopping from one messed up relationship to another with no end in sight. I did things much worse than drinking. Things that I wish, for the sake of my body and mind, could take back. But that's the problem with making bad decisions. No matter how sorry you are for them later you can never take them back. No matter if your a completely different person and would never repeat those actions again, it doesn't matter. To society you made your mistake and now, no matter what, you must pay for your actions. For me, the inability to drive for the last two years, and the next four, is what's really eating away at my psyche. I feel trapped. Stuck in this three mile radius between my apartment and work. I'm lucky that I have an amazing girlfriend that takes me to work in the morning so I don't have to ride the bus all the time. It's not that I hate taking the bus, its just that it is such a large inconvenience. To get to and from anywhere you must add in an extra hour, to your schedule, both ways because that is on average what it will take to transport you including the time you have to sit and wait. This makes a very busy schedule that much more difficult. I used to work two jobs, but that would be completely impossible without a car and being in school at the same time. My poor decisions have made life that much more difficult to manage. It doesn't matter if you change. I know this first hand because the person I am now would never repeat the actions of my younger self ever again. I have too much to loose now. An amazing woman, a good job, and, most importantly, a bright future. As much as we like to call ourselves the land of second chances, its just not so when it comes to breaking the law. They don't go back and change your sentence just because you grew up. No one is there to feel sorry for you when your life is adversely affected for years and years. It was your fault and now you must live in the world you created. Think about this the next time you dance on the line of morality. Ask yourself is the possible consequence really worth your actions?